Good Grief

Grief is not a feeling I anticipated experiencing as we re-entered, but it has found me. Just this past week as John and I have been making some decisions on future, possible job opportunities, it occurred to me that part of my struggle with the whole thing was the fact that we are about to say goodbye to our 24 hours a day, seven days a week of being together and working alongside one another. It may come as a surprise that we would actually want to be together all the time and certainly we need our own space to be, but it has been so great and will be incredibly difficult to give up when the time comes. Really, I have probably worked through Kubler-Ross’ five stages of death and dying in the past week moving from denial (we don’t really need to get jobs, do we? and I don’t want to think about it) to anger, or frustration rather, to bargaining (maybe if…), to depression or being bummed about the reality of the situation, to acceptance. Truly in the acceptance there is not resignation or compliance but joy and vision. I anticipate the grief to linger a bit longer and be even more apparent on the day we must go our separate working ways, but there is relief in identifying it and often I feel like self-awareness is half the battle.

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2 Responses to Good Grief

  1. Jan Bauer says:

    Not many couples ever experience what you are going through because either they’ve never had the chance to be together 24/7 so they don’t know what they are missing or they have been together 24/7 and, well, to put it nicely, would rather not…

    Like you guys, Jeff and I have been through it and LOVE it. We’ve had to go our separate ways (workwise) as you may have to soon…it’s heartbreaking but as you say, you do it, and you try to find the joy in it and learn what God is ready to teach you through it…and hopefully, someday, God willing, you can find your way again to do something together again. My heart goes out to you…we are always thinking about you guys and praying for you.

    Can’t wait to come visit you in Oregon! We are planning a trip for summer of 2010! We wish you health, wealth, love and perfect self-expression…

    Love, The Bauers…

  2. Molly says:

    It is strange when we don’t anticipate our emotional responses. What a great example to me though of a married relationship built solidly on true friendship. It is wonderful that you enjoy each other so much. I will be home in less than a week! I am anticipating myself feeling very strange and taking awhile to process it all. Maybe we can help each other…

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